I created this blog so that I could:
- have an outlet for my creativity
- inspire other moms to create special memories with their kids
- share tips I've learned with raising 4 children
- learn from other who share here with me
- inspire moms to discover their superpower and not compete with other moms
I don't like to give advice about parenting since I'm not a child & family psychologist; however, I do like to share what works for me, knowing full well it won't work for everyone.
Here's my story:
So my heritage is
Redneck (or "country" as my sister Debby likes to call it). I grew up
in a trailer with my parents, 3 sisters and my half-brother. We were very poor
on money but rich on country fun! We had a blast growing up together and there
was never a dull moment! After our parents separated, when I was 9, we went
through lots of hard times. I am a sensitive
person so perhaps I feel things more deeply than others, but it was hard for me. There were custody battles, restraining
orders, government food, court cases, violence, drug abuse, ect. My mother told me that if I worked hard in
school I could go to college for free.
So work hard I did!
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| My sister Penny, Stacey, Debby and I at Easter. |
Eventually, I won a ton
of college scholarships because of our hardships growing up and my persistence
to rise above them. I ended up not
having to pay for college...there's a gold lining for ya! And, to answer your questions about my
family, both of my parents met the love of their lives (3rd marriage
for each of them) and are happily married with peaceful lives. It is always pleasant visiting them now as an
adult.
I went to Liberty
University ONLY because I met a sweet Baptist boy from SC, Jamie Ray, the
summer before my senior year and I immediately went to my high school guidance
counselor and signed up for the biggest Baptist college on the east coast…Liberty
University. I had no idea who Jerry
Fallwell was; I gladly accepted the culture shock. Everyone was so kind, neatly dressed and the
boys were handsome! J I was in heaven! I went from one extreme to another. But eventually it bounced me in the middle
where I happily stay now.
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| My amazing LU friends! |
I got a degree in Religion
and wanted to be a missionary until I went on a few trips and realized how much
I liked toilet paper! I then married and became an Event Planner and then an
Abstinence Until Marriage Instructor! I LOVED both job immensely! Planning
parties or saying "penis & vagina" all day are my kind of jobs! I
am now a stay at home mom and have my own event planning/marketing
consultant/graphic designer business working from home called HollyDay
Consulting....still planning parties and hearing my kids say penis and vagina
all day! LOL!
After marrying my college
sweetheart in May of 99, we went on to have 4 beautiful children. Our life is
far from perfect, but we've come very far! Rob has showed me true unconditional
love, kindness, forgiveness, respect, support and provision. Marrying him was
the best decision I ever made! And even though we argue like any other couple,
I wouldn't want to argue with anyone else! :)
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| Holly & Rob, May 15, 1999 |
Before those 4 beautiful
children arrived, we lost 2 children in utero.
Our first daughter passed away at birth with Down Syndrome and I was
stunned, shocked and destroyed! We named her Monroe. We then had a 3 month
miscarriage, which we named Lael. That changed me forever. It changed my view
of God, life, children and others. I am so grateful for my 4 healthy children I
do have now and hope that I can be the best mother possible for them!
 |
| Me and Monroe :) |
Parenting is the hardest
job I've ever had to do. It requires a lot of unselfishness and patience,
neither of which I naturally possess. So needless to say I read A LOT of parenting
books to prevent my children from having to have as much adult therapy as I
have had to have! ;)
Through all of this I
learned that life is short and fragile...so I love life and love being
surrounded by others who love life!
I am a type A personality,
loud (according to my husband) and very independent.
I am always thinking of new
projects to do because I like change, but when I’m overwhelmed I like
organization and routine. J
I am a hard worker and
believe in doing my best as whatever I do.
That doesn’t mean that I achieve it, but I do the best I can in the
moment with what I have.
I love to plan/host
parties...it's my biggest hobby! Some
people run marathons, some eat all organic vegan foods, some build corporations…I
plan fun events to build community. We each
have our superpowers.
I love dancing, eating,
cooking fattening foods & baking, exploring new things, reading, empowering
women, having fun and being a big kid. Mostly I like being creative and
whatever that entails.
I am a recovering
perfectionist. After devouring all of
Brene Brown’s books, I decided to wear that title proudly. I use to think that I had to look and do
everything perfectly in order to be loved by others. I thought that any criticism was shameful and
would lead to them not accepting me for who I really was. Now I actually enjoy and celebrate my
imperfections. And since I can see my
imperfections more clearly, I accept them more easily in others.
I am sometimes deemed
inappropriate by the lack of filter between my brain and my mouth. But I like to think I’m just an honest person. I am sometimes deemed an over-sharer, that’s
because I think out-loud…but I’m working on that too.
I'm reliving my childhood
through my children and it’s so much fun!
As a child who had to grow up really fast and lost a lot of the magic of
childhood; I want to extend my children’s childhood as long as possible and
stuff as many great memories in their little heart…before life gets hard. There’s no getting away from the hard times;
everyone’s path has puddles. But I think
if I can pour so much love and wisdom into them now, that’s gotta be good!
Growing up poor didn’t
make me want to spoil my children with things.
I think too many things just overwhelm our life. But I do spoil them with memories. All types of memories, from amusement parks,
fun parties, waterballoon fights and night time tickles.
My parenting philosophy
is respect and honor. I respect them as
people and try to treat them kindly…and I apologize when I don’t….I apologize a
lot! I am honest with them about
everything in life (as age appropriate as I can be). I love and discipline equally. I love natural consequences but also give mamma
consequences. I look for the beautiful
moments in between pulling my hair out in the hard ones. Both moments co-exist in parenting and I try
to learn from both.
I'm sensitive to others
and rarely met a person I didn't like. I
willingly accept the challenge to find the good in others…and usually it’s not
that hard if you look long enough; I don’t easily give up! J
My life is an open book,
so ask me whatever you’d like and I’ll answer as honestly as possible. However, my husband is very private, so there
are a lot of things I’d love to share that I don’t out of respect for him. Some stories just aren’t my story to tell.
I use to be very
judgmental and think I was always right. Now I accept that I know very little.
One of my favorite quotes is "when you walk a day in another person's
place, you tend not to put them in theirs." So true!
My Life Quote:
I find competing with
others a huge waste of time. There will
always be someone else prettier, skinnier, wealthier or more talented than you,
so just give up now! LOL!
I always root for the
underdog.
Lastly, my very favorite
quote ever is this: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our
deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our
darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child
of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing
enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around
you." ~ Marianne Williamson
Many years ago this
quote gave me permission to just be myself and not worry about what others
thought. I am forever grateful!
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