I created this blog so that I could:
- have an outlet for my creativity
- inspire other moms to create special memories with their kids
- share tips I've learned with raising 4 children
- learn from other who share here with me
- inspire moms to discover their superpower and not compete with other moms
I don't like to give advice about parenting since I'm not a child & family psychologist; however, I do like to share what works for me, knowing full well it won't work for everyone.
Here's my story:
So my heritage is Redneck (or "country" as my sister Debby likes to call it). I grew up in a trailer with my parents, 3 sisters and my half-brother. We were very poor on money but rich on country fun! We had a blast growing up together and there was never a dull moment! After our parents separated, when I was 9, we went through lots of hard times. I am a sensitive person so perhaps I feel things more deeply than others, but it was hard for me. There were custody battles, restraining orders, government food, court cases, violence, drug abuse, ect. My mother told me that if I worked hard in school I could go to college for free. So work hard I did!
|My sister Penny, Stacey, Debby and I at Easter.|
Eventually, I won a ton of college scholarships because of our hardships growing up and my persistence to rise above them. I ended up not having to pay for college...there's a gold lining for ya! And, to answer your questions about my family, both of my parents met the love of their lives (3rd marriage for each of them) and are happily married with peaceful lives. It is always pleasant visiting them now as an adult.
I went to Liberty University ONLY because I met a sweet Baptist boy from SC, Jamie Ray, the summer before my senior year and I immediately went to my high school guidance counselor and signed up for the biggest Baptist college on the east coast…Liberty University. I had no idea who Jerry Fallwell was; I gladly accepted the culture shock. Everyone was so kind, neatly dressed and the boys were handsome! J I was in heaven! I went from one extreme to another. But eventually it bounced me in the middle where I happily stay now.
|My amazing LU friends!|
I got a degree in Religion and wanted to be a missionary until I went on a few trips and realized how much I liked toilet paper! I then married and became an Event Planner and then an Abstinence Until Marriage Instructor! I LOVED both job immensely! Planning parties or saying "penis & vagina" all day are my kind of jobs! I am now a stay at home mom and have my own event planning/marketing consultant/graphic designer business working from home called HollyDay Consulting....still planning parties and hearing my kids say penis and vagina all day! LOL!
After marrying my college sweetheart in May of 99, we went on to have 4 beautiful children. Our life is far from perfect, but we've come very far! Rob has showed me true unconditional love, kindness, forgiveness, respect, support and provision. Marrying him was the best decision I ever made! And even though we argue like any other couple, I wouldn't want to argue with anyone else! :)
|Holly & Rob, May 15, 1999|
Before those 4 beautiful children arrived, we lost 2 children in utero. Our first daughter passed away at birth with Down Syndrome and I was stunned, shocked and destroyed! We named her Monroe. We then had a 3 month miscarriage, which we named Lael. That changed me forever. It changed my view of God, life, children and others. I am so grateful for my 4 healthy children I do have now and hope that I can be the best mother possible for them!
Parenting is the hardest job I've ever had to do. It requires a lot of unselfishness and patience, neither of which I naturally possess. So needless to say I read A LOT of parenting books to prevent my children from having to have as much adult therapy as I have had to have! ;)
Through all of this I learned that life is short and fragile...so I love life and love being surrounded by others who love life!
I am a type A personality, loud (according to my husband) and very independent.
I am always thinking of new projects to do because I like change, but when I’m overwhelmed I like organization and routine. J
I am a hard worker and believe in doing my best as whatever I do. That doesn’t mean that I achieve it, but I do the best I can in the moment with what I have.
I love to plan/host parties...it's my biggest hobby! Some people run marathons, some eat all organic vegan foods, some build corporations…I plan fun events to build community. We each have our superpowers.
I love dancing, eating, cooking fattening foods & baking, exploring new things, reading, empowering women, having fun and being a big kid. Mostly I like being creative and whatever that entails.
I am a recovering perfectionist. After devouring all of Brene Brown’s books, I decided to wear that title proudly. I use to think that I had to look and do everything perfectly in order to be loved by others. I thought that any criticism was shameful and would lead to them not accepting me for who I really was. Now I actually enjoy and celebrate my imperfections. And since I can see my imperfections more clearly, I accept them more easily in others.
I am sometimes deemed inappropriate by the lack of filter between my brain and my mouth. But I like to think I’m just an honest person. I am sometimes deemed an over-sharer, that’s because I think out-loud…but I’m working on that too.
I'm reliving my childhood through my children and it’s so much fun! As a child who had to grow up really fast and lost a lot of the magic of childhood; I want to extend my children’s childhood as long as possible and stuff as many great memories in their little heart…before life gets hard. There’s no getting away from the hard times; everyone’s path has puddles. But I think if I can pour so much love and wisdom into them now, that’s gotta be good!
Growing up poor didn’t make me want to spoil my children with things. I think too many things just overwhelm our life. But I do spoil them with memories. All types of memories, from amusement parks, fun parties, waterballoon fights and night time tickles.
My parenting philosophy is respect and honor. I respect them as people and try to treat them kindly…and I apologize when I don’t….I apologize a lot! I am honest with them about everything in life (as age appropriate as I can be). I love and discipline equally. I love natural consequences but also give mamma consequences. I look for the beautiful moments in between pulling my hair out in the hard ones. Both moments co-exist in parenting and I try to learn from both.
I'm sensitive to others and rarely met a person I didn't like. I willingly accept the challenge to find the good in others…and usually it’s not that hard if you look long enough; I don’t easily give up! J
My life is an open book, so ask me whatever you’d like and I’ll answer as honestly as possible. However, my husband is very private, so there are a lot of things I’d love to share that I don’t out of respect for him. Some stories just aren’t my story to tell.
I use to be very judgmental and think I was always right. Now I accept that I know very little. One of my favorite quotes is "when you walk a day in another person's place, you tend not to put them in theirs." So true!
My Life Quote:
I find competing with others a huge waste of time. There will always be someone else prettier, skinnier, wealthier or more talented than you, so just give up now! LOL!
I always root for the underdog.
Lastly, my very favorite quote ever is this: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you." ~ Marianne Williamson
Many years ago this quote gave me permission to just be myself and not worry about what others thought. I am forever grateful!