Throwing My Own Birthday Party - Western Style

As a girl growing up, I never had my own birthday party.  It was always a family dinner with a 9x13 cake and ice cream on a paper plate...yeah, it slipped around like crazy and the ice cream always got my cake soggy! LOL!

As a child, I was always so envious of my friend who were having those magical McDonald's birthday parties.  You remember...every child would get a happy meal, a crown, there were balloons everywhere, and if you were lucky...Ronald McDonald showed up with a giant cake of his face on the front! OMG!  Those kids were so lucky and those parents were sooooo rich! :)

I don't know who this little girl it, but dang was she a lucky one!

When I turned 23 (before the age of digital cameras, hence no photo), my husband threw me a surprise birthday party...at the local McDonald's play area!  He bought everyone a happy meal and even got a McDonald's cake!  It was the best birthday party I had ever had due to his extreme thoughtfulness! :)  It will always be the best birthday in my mind!

But now, 13 years and 4 children later, "ain't nobody got time for that"! :)  With everyone's busy lives and running after their kids, who has time to throw their adult friend a birthday party...and I wanted one, so what's a girl to do?  Well throw my own, dang it!

Then I remembered that one of my besties has her birthday just a few days after mine, so we decided to team up.  We threw ourselves a birthday party!

First of all we decided to do it at a restaurant with a fantastic outdoor patio.  We're not stupid...we didn't want to throw our own party and then have to clean up after it too! LOL!

Then we sent out the infamous Evite and asked everyone, "in lieu of presents", could they pay for their own meal, which ranged from $10-$30.  It would be very rude to invite everyone to your party, ask them to pay their way and then pick some place where it's going to cost them $100 to eat.  And according to most etiquette experts, it's not rude to ask them to pay for their own meal as long as you tell them beforehand so they can plan accordingly, as well as mention that they don't need to bring gifts.  I always like to say "it's your presence, not presents, that's required."

So despite having it at a restaurant, I couldn't resist the urge to decorate a little...and have a theme!  My girlfriend and I are both born and raised country girls so we decided to go with a little western theme.  Here's what I did.

I decorated each table with some burlap, a mini hay stack, mason jar of daisies, tin can with some "get to know you" questions and some trail mix.

I also decided to make our own cupcakes.  Smores it was!  

I got this amazing recipe from this blog: Smores Cupcake Recipe .  Ya'll, there were 'smack your mama' good!  OMG! 

Then I purchased the cupcake wrappers from Amazon here: Yellow Chevron Wrappers .  

I made the "Wanted" sign myself which makes me laugh every time I see it!

And of course we needed bandanas...so why not decorate with them?  I purchased all of them on ebay here: Yellow Bandanas . 

Me and Leslie, the birthday girls!

  First we forced our friends to come to our party...then we forced them to sing Happy Birthday to us.  What?  We know what we want! :)

Seriously though, we were surrounded by wonderful friends who support us daily.  We couldn't be happier and if it takes us throwing ourselves our own birthday party to get all these wonderful people together, then I have no shame in that!  Love them all!

"You're not invited to my birthday party!"

Have you ever been the mom who's child didn't get invited to a birthday party?  Most likely it made you sad for your child.  Sad that they might feel excluded or rejected.  Hearing that your child wasn't invited probably brought up a whole slew of feelings of rejection that you've experienced over the years with your own friends.  That feeling sucks!!!!  I've been there as a mom, and as a person.

However, I've also been the mom who could only afford to invite 12 kids to my daughter's birthday party.  And guess what, 1/2 of those kids had to be her siblings and cousins!  So then she's left to only invite 6 friends.  And between classroom friends, family friends and neighborhood friends...6 isn't a lot.  So what's a mom to do?

What I tell my children is that they can invite a certain number of kids, but they are not allowed to go to school and talk about the party...to anyone.  They have to remember that not everyone can come and feelings will be hurt and they need to be sensitive to that.  And if a child asks them if they can come, but they are not on the guest list, we have a prepared response like "I'm so sorry, I could only invite a few kids.  But my mom's bringing treats for school lunch on my birthday and we can celebrate then!"

I ask my child which 6 kids THEY want to invite. I don't invite the kids "I" want to invite since it's their party.  Before my kids were in school, they didn't really care and I just invited my friends and their children because those were the kids we hung out with all the time.  But after they went to school and made their own friends, I had to let go a bit.  It's their party, so they should be able to invite who they want.  With the exception of inviting the opposite sex to sleepovers, ect.  I would hate it if my husband made me invite someone I didn't like to my birthday dinner.  I respect my kids enough not to do that to them.  And I won't go bankrupt to invite ALL the kids she knows. So if there can only be 6 friends, it's her choice of 6 friends.

Also, when I'm the mom of the birthday child and I know that there are a few children, in particular, whose feeling might be hurt by not being invited, then I like to call/email their mom and give them a heads up and explain the situation.  This gives the mom time to prepare her response for her child.

With that said, planning a birthday party can sometimes be very stressful and time consuming, so if I don't call you, please have grace for me.  I probably forgot to call or just didn't think about it with all the birthday planning craziness occurring.  When in doubt, forgive me please. :)

So what do I do when my kid's excluded?  Well first I feel sad.  Then I feel angry.  Then I  finally tell myself the truth.  I tell myself that there was probably a good reason they couldn't invite my child and that this isn't an evil master plan to exclude me.  Then I put my ugly big girl panties on and say to myself, "that's right Holly, everything in life is not about you!"

So after I've processed my feelings of rejection, I sit my kid down and explain to them how life works too. Teaching them how to push through rejection and disappointment is such a great quality to learn.  I make sure not to do it when I'm feeling rejected or angry; otherwise, I know it will come through to them and be more about me then them.

What I say to my child is this: "Listen honey, sometimes you get to be first and sometimes you have to be last.  Everyone gets their turn in life.  And just because you weren't invited doesn't mean they don't like you.  It might just mean that they didn't have enough room or money.  And it's ok to be sad about it.  I've not been invited to parties before too and it stings.  But let's not be angry at the birthday boy/girl.  However, we can feel sad we weren't able to go. (hugs) Fortunately, there will always be more birthday parties.  How about we go to the park that day instead and make our own fun!"  This teaches them to process their sad feelings without becoming resentful and bitter.  And that they can make their own fun and don't have to wait around to be invited to "fun".  And if I'm truly honest with myself, I'm probably a little relieved that I don't have to buy another birthday present!  HALLE-FREAKIN-'LUJAH!!!

Now, what if my child doesn't particularly get along with my best friend's child?  What if my child doesn't want them to come at all?  What do I do?  I've experienced this before and it sucks.  It sucks because you don't want to hurt your friends feelings or their child's feelings.  But you also want to respect your child's wishes for their special day.  You don't want your friend's child to come and ruin the party because you know they will hit other kids, fight over toys, have a bad attitude, open all the presents them self, start a food fight and make your child miserable.

In this situation I would swallow the vomit that's pushing up my throat, and then talk to my friend and say "my daughter chose a certain number of kids and I'm so sorry to say that your child wasn't one of them. Some kids have good chemistry and some just don't; just like adults.  I know it sucks and I wish they got along better, but I want to respect my daughter's wishes on her special day."

Bottom line, life isn't always fair.  And to teach our children that it is fair is such an injustice to them.  When my children feel excluded, I try to help them process their sadness in a healthy way, let them cry, validate their feelings, hold them and comfort them.  Let them feel the disappointment so they will learn not to be scared of that feeling in the future.  They will eventually learn that they won't always be included in everything (us moms know that better than anyone) and that's ok.  They are in charge of making their life happy and fun.  They don't have to wait on other's to invite them to fun.

And, on a side note, I never had a birthday party growing up.  It's important to me to teach my kids just how freakin' special it is that they get one and that they get to go to other people's parties.  I want them to be grateful that they even have friends to invite them to begin with.  That's the real deal! :)

First Day of Fall Party

So fall has arrived!!!  Fortunately I was hosting our neighborhood playgroup and had an excuse to celebrate and I took full advantage!

First it was time to decorate the house!  Decorating for fall is NOT decorating for Thanksgiving or Halloween, it's the more simple stuff like leaves, pumpkins, apples, guords, mums, ect.  Using elements from nature will keep you on the right track.  I have entirely different decorations that I add in for those holidays! :)  Don't be suprised, you already know by now that I'm a holiday freak!

I always love putting a wreath over my mirror.  It just creates more depth and makes a bigger statement than it would without one.  Then I took the matching vine/berries and wrapped a leaf garland around it and had my mantle decor!  I just added a couple sparkly pumpkins and a banner and done!  Typically I buy my decor right after the holiday so that I can get great deals!! 

Then, to the right, I decorated with mostly stuff I just have around the house.  I typically just "switch" things out from different places to create my bookshelf scene which is usually beach decor.  I also added some burnt orange ribbons to non-fall items like a bird cage, vase, candle to make it fall-like and it does the trick. 

Who can resist an awesome mum?  I bought this and placed it in a terra cotta pot that I reuse over and over again and it works!  And since it was raining that day, I put our bounce house indoors for the kids to get their wiggles out in! :)

The food!  Decorating is typically my favorite part of parties, but food is a close second!  And since fall is about warm comfort food, I chose to make the food the centerpiece of this party.  Now, the best way to display food is to put it all in different heights.  You can do this by having multiple cake stands or simply turn some pots upside down underneath your tablecloth and it will create height.

The other thing to remember about a buffet is that the dishes need to be all the same color so that they basically disappear as your food is what is on display.  So typically I only purchase white or clear glass serving dishes.  This helps keep it uniform and able to use at any party.

Now, this was a party for preschoolers but with moms there, so the food had to be easy to eat but filling.  So I bought pre-made corn dogs, pre-made sweet potato fries and baked those.  Then I just threw frozen meatballs in my crock pot with BBQ sauce and that was easy and done!

This was also very easy and the kids loved it!  Just buy trail mix and throw in some pumpkins and it's very festive!

Ok, so this I made from scratch, but I couldn't resist and you would too if you could taste them!  Here's the recipe...so worth the time and effort!!!

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/apple-pie-muffins/detail.aspx

*BTW, a great tip on baking for parties, you can freeze it all...already baked cookies, muffins, un-iced cupcakes, pancakes, waffles, ect.!!!  I baked these the week before and once they completely cooled, I just put them in a freezer bag and froze them.  The morning of the party I took them out and within 2 hours they were completely dethawed and tasted like I had just baked them that morning.  Freezing them locks in that freshness and it's a great way to prepare ahead of time so you're not so stressed the day before the party.

Apple cobbler!  This is Ina Garten's recipe and delicious with a touch of lemon and orange zest!  I prepped these the day before and put them in the fridge.  The citrus kept the apples from turning brown.  Then I baked them just before people arrived which made my house smell amazing!

So this is amazingly easy and the perfect size for little kids!  No kid can really eat an entire carmel apple, so these are made by using a watermelon baller and scooping out an apple and dipping in melted butterscotch chips, chocolate chips or carmel chips.  The kids loved them!

http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/mini-caramel-apples-688916/

So the moment I saw these I wanted to make them and was so excited I could!  Super easy and fast!

Here's the recipe: http://amandaparkerandfamily.blogspot.com/2011/07/tutorial-teachers-oreo-apple-pops.html

So...every party has a disaster and this was mine which was sad because they were suppose to be my centerpiece; but you just have to roll with the punches.  So pumpkin cupcakes are actually very easy to make.  You just take a yellow boxed cake mix and instead of adding the oil, water and eggs, you add a can of pumpkin pie mix.  They turn out SO moist and yummy!  Then I made cream cheese icing and added orange sprinkles.  They looked beautiful.  Unfortunately my husband left our under-counter light on all night and when I woke up in the morning they were melted everywhere.  *But I thoroughly enjoyed licking that plate!! :)

*BTW, I froze these cupcakes too and thawed and frosted them the day before.

Mason jars are awesome!  Any mason jar that is used for canning can be used for baking because they already have to be able to with stand high temperature for the boiling process.  So basically they are little pyrexs!  So I just made my family's recipe and baked individual ones the day before and they were delicious!  Raisin bread pudding is always best the next day cold, so that was convenient.  Oh, and there's a delicous vanilla sauce on top that makes it all glistening and yummy!

So this is another family recipe that I love.  Sweet, wet corn bread!  I just bake them in cupcake pans and only fill half way to make the right serving size and they are delicious!

*Again, I baked and froze these days before!

I also served bowls of caramels, indian corn and candy corn but for some reason these pictures are coming onto this blog sideways?  But, for obvious reasons, the kids LOVED the candy! :) 

Beverages HAD to be Apple Cider and Iced Tea (splenda tea since we have moms watching their weight).  Then I also served coffee with pumpkin spice!

Printables!  So all these printables I just make myself.  I use Microsoft Publisher which is not the best but it's better than Word.  For the cupcake pics, just make a 2" circle, throw in a clip art and buy a 2" hole punch and tape a lollipop stick to the back.  Super easy!  I just print them at Staples on cardstock because their printing is waterproof to a degree.  So if I spill something on them or water splashes up, they don't run or get ruined. 

For a craft we did finger painting.  Now, this typically scares most parents, but all the paint was washable so that doesn't scare me at all...I'm always washing my tables, floors, walls so a little more wouldn't hurt! :)

If you look in the middle of the window, you'll see what our objective was, a Fall Tree.  The kid's arm was the trunk, hands were the leaves and fingerprints were the leaves falling.  However, with any kid's party, you have to go with the flow and they just wanted to be artistially free...so they were and it was great fun seeing their creations!

How did I do it all?

During my kid's nap time is when I usually get stuff done, or if it's something they can help me with, we do it together.

Monday:

Baked: apple muffins, corn bread & pumpkin cupcakes & froze.

Tuesday:

Designed all my printables and printed/cut them out.

Put up my fall decorations.

Wednesday:

Made iced tea, trail mix & apple oreos.

Prepared finger painting craft.

Thursday:

Made apple cobbler, raisin bread pudding & mini butterscotch apples

Iced pumpkin cupcakes

Set up tablescape & serving dishes

Friday:

Cooked meatballs, corn dogs, fries and apple cobbler.

The party began at 10am!

Anytime you are throwing a party, the BEST way to have it turn out a success is to be organized so that you're not stressed the day of the party and you can enjoy yourself and the fruit of your labor!  The week before every one of my parties I set aside a couple hours each day to prepare.  Sometimes 2 weeks!  I make my list and prioritize and get it done so that I can enjoy myself too!  So plan ahead to do a little each day and it will turn out fantastic!!! 

But remember, if you're doing it and stressing the whole time, then don't do it!  If it's not an enjoyable process to you, then find a different hobby.  Parties can be great with store bought cupcakes and pin the tail on the donkey.  What really makes a party great are the people who come!  I go overboard because I LOVE the creative process, which I'm assuming you do to or you wouldn't be reading this blog! :)



My 32nd Birthday Party

I just hosted my 32nd birthday party at my home where I invited some girlfriends over to have a relaxing spa day with me. I invited about 15 girls, but due to circumstances, only 4 of us were there. However, I also had a Pure Romance instructor come, so the intimate gathering was very appropriate and bonding! The party didn't go as planned. We were suppose to start at 10am and lay out outside drinking smoothies, snacking on fruit and muffins and playing a "Dirty Little Secrets" game for moms...however, it was rainy, people arrived late and none of that happened. We did eat lunch, which was yummy - chicken salad croissants, chilled cucumber soup, and shrimp cocktail. I also had a few trays of fruits & veggies, cheese & cracker platter, "spa"berries, homemade peanut butter cups and a chocolate cake to snack on throughout the day. Of course, we also had wine, iced tea and my specialty drink, Amaretto sours. Then it was time for the Pure Romance Consultant to do her presentation. She was wonderful and very informative! I was a sex ed instructor prior to being a stay at home mom and I still learned some things - and gasped at a few things :) This presentation ran long, due to all our questions and we did not have time for what was next. I had planned for us to do manicures, pedicures and facials. I made gift bags for all the girls to help in the pampering process. I laminated instructions on how to do the mani's, pedi's and facials. I had bought soaking tubs for our feet and bowls to soak our hands. I also had a basket full of all the products we needed for the entire process. I had soaked cucumbers to be soft for our eyes. I had lemons and limes to put in our foot baths. But, parties don't always go as planned so we never even got to those things. However, I plan on having all the girls back for a "part 2" night of pampering so that we can use all the stuff I bought. Anyway, it was fun planning the whole event even if it did not go as I had hoped and imagined...I did give myself a mani and a pedi the next day and it was lovely!!

Twins #1 All-Star Birthday Party

So, yesterday was the twins birthday party! I started planning it about a month ago, and to me, that's the fun part. It wasn't that stressful because I bought everything during that month and made everything I could 2 weeks in advance so that I wouldn't be rushed. We ate traditional sports food: hot dogs, hamburgers, potato salad, cotton candy, peanuts, cracker jack, sunflower seeds, chex mix, gatorade, lemonade, ect. We asked all the parents for "vital statistics" about their child and then introduced the "players" one by one. Then they could play whatever game they wanted (all the instructions were written on the back of that sport's sign) and get a sticker after achieving the goal. Once they got 5 stickers, we had an award ceremony where they got a medal. Then we ate dinner...yum, yum! We also had yummy cupcakes and opened presents. My only disappointment is how little time I got to spend with my kids. Hosting a party always keeps you busy, so I do wish I had had more time with them....so today we spent the whole day on the slip-n-slide having fun! Anyway, hope you enjoy the video!

Twins 1st birthday

So, I'm planning the twins 1st birthday party and doing a sports theme...#1 All-Stars. Here is a picture of the invitations I made & sent out. We are going to have a football field, soccer field, basketball court, baseball field and cheerleading area of course! I am having a lot of fun planning it...it will be fun for the kids with prizes and yummy treats, but it will also be fun for the adults since it's a cookout. Hopefully the weather will cooperate or else we'll all be in the garage. Anyway, I also made a registry for the boys...is that tacky? I just thought if people didn't know what to get them (not that they have to get them anything because we have everything we need), then they would have a resource. It's under my Amazon wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/TJL89VZ9PU08/ref=cm_wl_sortbar_o_page_1?ie=UTF8&filter=all&sort=priority&layout=standard&reveal=unpurchased&page=1 But I'm not sure what boys like or will want since I'm a girl and have 2 older girls. If you have any boys, check out the registry and let me know if I'm missing any great "gems". Thanks! And I'll post after the party with lots of pictures!