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Thursday, August 15, 2013

Back to School...Exciting, Sad or Both?

So this will be the first year that all four will be in school to some degree.  I'll have a 1st grader, 2nd grader and the boys will be in preschool for 4 hours/4 days a week.


I don't know how I feel about it, honestly.

Some moments I am giddy with excitement that I will be able to be more productive.  That I can grocery shop by myself, run errands quicker, make doctors appointments at that time, or even meet a friend for lunch *gasp*!

I also find that I'm organizing.  I'm in a "de-clutter" mode and know that my kids will be completely out of the house for 4 hours a day so I want it clean and peaceful for me to work in!

But other moments I'm sad.  It's sad because it's the end of this "baby" stage of their life where I've been all they needed.  They are going to go to an amazing school with amazing teachers and start to think "huh, that lady's smart and nice too."  Um, NO!  I'm the only amazing woman in your life!  But thank goodness that's not true.  I am very grateful that my children are surrounded by amazing women from their friend's moms, my friends, their teachers, coaches and family.  It's great for them to want to be around all those amazing women.  Just as long as I stay #1! :)

I'm nervous about the change.  Which means that I'm planning.  I'm working on our daily school schedule and my schedule.  It's kinda like a puzzle so I enjoy it.  I guess I feel like if I prepare for it then it won't hurt so much.

But I'm also nesting and cuddling.  I'm holding them a little more.  Playing with them a little more.  Saying "yes" a little bit more because I know I'm going to be loosing them a little bit when school starts.  We went on a bike ride this morning and I cried thinking about them all going.  Yeah, I'm a crybaby.

Now, I'm not sad enough to home school them, LOL!  I know women who do a great job at that and in theory I would be too.  But in reality, I just don't possess that kind of patience.

So, during this time of uneasiness, of different feelings jousting for my attention....I just feel it all.  I just allow myself to feel all these feelings and process them; giving myself permission to feel them all without guilt.

Whatever you're feeling about your kids returning to school is normal and healthy...I know I've felt all different types of feelings.  The heart is so complex.  But whether you're jumping for joy or crying in the corner...it's probably all normal and all temporary.  I just keep telling myself that it's a new chapter and I'll adapt and enjoy it...we'll see how that goes!
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